The Lesson of the Empty Chair
My mother once shared a lesson about power that stayed with me. She noticed that in the world of high-ranking offices, respect is often tied to the designation, not the person. While in power, you are served the finest teas and the warmest smiles. But the moment a transfer order arrives, the room goes cold.
It was a stark realization: the world often salutes the chair, not the soul sitting in it. This is why I chose a path of self-reliance. I decided I would brew my own tea. There is a profound, quiet peace in preparing your own cup; it’s a sweetness that doesn't depend on anyone else’s approval.
The "Flow" vs. The Fight
Recently, a friend gave me the common advice: "Just go with the flow. Let things happen as they may."
It sparked a debate within me. Why do I fight for my rights rather than surrendering to the river’s current? For a moment, I wanted to convince her to stand up and find her voice. But I realized that imposing my path on her would be its own form of control. My goal for her was freedom, not conformity to my ideals.
Then, she said something that changed my perspective: "I'm just happy that you are able to speak up about it... I can't even do that."
The Mask of "Maturity"
That revelation hit home. For many, "going with the flow" isn't a choice; it’s a suppressed voice. I started to see how people often label silence as "maturity" to justify their own hesitation to act.
When people say, "You’re so mature," or "I'm just not ambitious," it sometimes feels like a rehearsed script—a way to avoid the exhausting journey of self-advocacy. I felt a pang of empathy. The world has a way of convincing people that surrender is their natural state.
Finding the Balance
I told her, "Some things, you have to leave to time." But I immediately corrected myself: "No, not everything. Some things demand the courage to fight against time itself."
This isn’t a contradiction; it’s the essence of a well-lived life. It’s about the balance between Patience and Courage:
* Patience (Sabr): This is for outcomes truly beyond our control, saved for the moment after we have exhausted every genuine effort.
* Courage (Himmat): This is for our voice and our worth. It is the strength to swim upstream when the current threatens to wash away who we are.
My Takeaway for You
If there is one thing I’ve learned from my mother’s stories and my own reflections, it’s this: Write your own script. If you don’t, the world will hand you one and expect you to simply recite the lines.
Brew your own tea. Cherish your voice. And remember—true surrender only comes after relentless effort, not before it.
